Three Things

Here are three things I've realized about my super anal-compulsive, and probably incredibly boring MVP analyses:

1. I may very well be picking nits and splitting hairs. Really, does looking at the percentage of the team's RBIs that a guy knocks in tell you anything? On the other hand, at least it's an objective point from which to start an MVP discussion.
2. It's been pointed out that RBI production may have more to do with one's spot in the batting order than one's ability as a batter. I thought about trying to rate players versus the average production from their customary lineup position (like, "Ryan Howard's 149 RBI out of the 3-spot is 8.65% more than the average No. 3-hitter, while Soriano's 95 RBIs were 17.5% more than a league-average leadoff hitter) but then realized that I have no idea where I can easily get that kind of information, and that I am very lazy.
3. It's easier for NL players to separate themselves from the pack on their teams because there's no DH. Our NL MVP candidates all hit somewhere between 13% and 19% of their team's RBIs; while the AL players ranged from 10% to 17%. Also, Lance Berkman knocked in almost one fifth of the Astros runs. That's retarded. What the hell did they do for runs in the 10 games Berkman didn't play? Probably nothing. Of course, LB had more than twice as many ribbies as the next closest guy on the team, Biggio with 62. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm back from Illinois, where me and the FMP* had gone for my grandmother's funeral. Yeah, good times. A non-baseball story from Watseka: the food there sucks. I mean, every time I go out to visit my grandparents, every meal is like a badly cooked steak, served with an iceberg lettuce salad (ranch dressing, natch) and a baked potato with lots of sour cream. Strangely, for farm country, the produce always sucks. Bland on top of bland, with a side of bland. Anyway, after the funeral service we were going to go to this place for lunch, and my brother Tampa went to see if he could find it on the ol' interweb, and if so, how it rated; or, barring that, if there was secretly a halfway-decent restaurant somewhere in Iroquois County we could go to instead. Shockingly, he was able to find an online restaurant guide for the town of Watseka; the place we were supposed to go was actually on it, and it had a five-star rating. Can't be too bad, right? That's what he thought, until he realized that the McDonald's and the Pizza Hut had five-star ratings, too. Hell, even gas station take-out pizza got a four-and-a-half.

I know it's ridiculously expensive in New York, but I like living in a place where food you get from a gas station doesn't get a restaurant review.

* Future Mrs. Pirate